Traveling the World

Contrary to popular belief. I REALLY want to travel. I always have. At some point in my life I seriously want to go all around the world. I just have to get financially stable first. I want to go back to London among other places. I don't think people truly know how much and how appealing traveling is to me. Once I've been married for a little bit, before I have kids, I wanna travel maybe with some friends or whoever. I might even go by myself. Thats how serious I am. Just a random note.

Mushy Stuff 2

It is rare that I actually feel inspired to write with all my emotions. This is one of those times. I love my fiancee so much. I've reached a point where its become comfortable and I feel that I am working on the things I need to change. Everyday I'm more sure of how much I love and want to spend my life with this man. That being said, I feel guilty at times because I want to take him away from his family. I know his family will always be around, I guess I'm just ready for it to be about us. I know that would entail me taking more responsibility in the relationship. That is something I am willing to do. Although I feel I'm not truly prepared. When I'm actually put in the situation, I think that I will flourish. I am ready to ultimately be a wife. I feel I'm more mentally prepared than anything. I just have to get actions in sync with the mental.

Bucket List: Draft 1

I was watching a youtube video and it inspired me to make my bucket list. This will be a prelimary short version as I have not thought it through all the way. I just wanted to get a couple ideas down. Well here goes.
1. Go to Michael Jackson's grave
2. Meet Denzel Washington

Music Monday

Love Lyfe he always has substance to his music and a good message.

Happy 100th to me!!

This is my 100th post by the way. I feel like a lot has developed but at the same time nothing at all since my last post. Well I managed to get a job interview at a bank and I took a test for another job for the state of Missouri. This is good but the return hasn't been nearly as great as the amount of jobs I applied for. Still I'm thankful for the interview.
In relationship news there have been talks of getting an apartment, saving for a wedding, and allocation of bills. Most of which have caused a series of arguments. The resulting conclusion I have made is that when it comes down to going the extra mile its gonna be up to me because it seems I can't depend on my other half....and that bothers me. Enough said.
I'm ready to get things moving in my life at a ...perhaps more accelerated pace. As soon as I get a job I'll be able to have a better outlook on how to move forward.

Growth

I feel I am growing as a individual. I am learning things about myself and how to change them. I am learning from the people in my life. I'm thankful for the people in my life. I feel like I am truly growing into an adult. I am learning how to forgive. Some things that in the past that have kept me from seeing the impact certain people have made in my life are no longer issues. From my fiancee' I'm learning to be selfless instead of selfish. The thing I really love about him is how it seems like he gives wholeheartedly. It almost amazes me. Truly. It seems like he always puts others before himself. This is something I have yet to master. I need to learn to be concerned for others more than myself. From him I am also learning how to love someone else. From him I am learning the importance of family. I'm learning forgiveness. For example it's father's day and my father has not been around since I was younger. I'm not at the point where I can totally forgive him but I feel like I am starting to not use it as a source of anger or of not caring. I'm starting to look at things from a different angle. It's a continual process. Growth.

Checklist

Well I'm happy to say I can check one thing off my checklist for grad school (mentioned in the previous blog)
1. License-complete
2. Car
3. Job
4. Grad School