It's that time again....

Well I'm back. Did you miss me? Once again I feel I haven't wrote in a while so I decided to grace you with my presence yet again. Amazingly, not a lot has been goin on since I last wrote. My first semester of my sophomore year is almost over and I must say I coulda done better I failed 2 classes that are required for my major and I must supercede them in the spring. Good stuff! Christmas break is approaching and I am more happy to get the well deserved break. Everythings been getting on my nerves especially my roommate. It's like everythig she does makes me mad. Lets not go into details. I can't wait until Christmas the season and the whole atmosphere of it makes me usually happy and it's not just about the presents. Also my birthday is comin up on December the 27th and I will be the big 2-0. I'm gettin at that age when I NEED to be more independant. I want my own apartment, car, etc. even though I know it will be a while before I get those things I can't help but wish. My familys good as theyll ever be I guess. The sis is still MIA at home and it's the same thing. Speaking of family I want to discuss my grandma in particular. Now the situation is as I'm sure I've said, she's has taken care of me and my sister since I was little after my mom died until I was 12. She had a stroke and was paralyzed on her left side and couldn't care for us anymore so now she's in home. As you can probably tell my grandma was a big part of my life and you would assume I try to keep in contact with her whenever I can but no. I feel somewhat guilty for this but it's hard. I love my grandmother to death but honestly (this might sound wrong) I feel she's not a part of my life anymore and I've grown up. I feel like she wants to keep in contact because we are all she really had in life and now we're gone. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I do. And it seems I don't make an effort to visit anyone, anymore my sister or my grandma. It's almost as if, if your out of the place that I live at that current time your out of my life. It's crazy. Thats all I have to say about that but on lighter note I want to discuss the boyfriend now. We've been together for going on a year and 4 months and we are no longer in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. I mean there is still love and romance there but we are not the same as we were in the beginning. We are recognizing and evaluting the issues in our relationship. He wants me to move in with him and I want to too but I don't think my family would approve and I don't want to leave them on bad terms. Theres also the possibility, although we don't plan on it, that we might break up and then what, I have to move back in with the people that will have resentment towards me ( though they won't show it) for leaving. I just don't know about all that. We'll see what happens. So I think that sums everything up for now. Either you wont see me for another few months or I'll write within this week.